Sceptical.

Hina sangat ke jadi seorang gemuk ? Berdosa kah ? Or is it illegal to be an overweight person ? Everywhere I go, every person I met, most of them will talk about my size in front of me. Senang cerita, will ask me  "Why badan gemuk sampai macam ni", "Bila kau nak kurus", "Kau makan apa sampai badan jadi gini", "Tulah kau mana tak gemuk ", bla bla bla.....

Sindir. Perli. I get that a lotttttt! Diorang bercakap about my weight without considering what I feels after that. Seolah-olah macam aku ni takde perasaan pulak. Yes. I'm tired of being like this. Makan dalam. Sentap sorang- sorang. So here it is :

Based on true case ( my experience )
Ada lah seorang mamat ni. Kawan tempat kerja. Since aku belum gain weight lagi ( 14kgs thinner than now ),
hobi dia ni, kerja membahan orang je. Bukan stakat aku sorang yang kena. Orang lain pun kena jugak. Mula-mula,aku boleh lah gelak- gelak lagi dia membahan aku macam- macam itu ini, pakai baju kebaya tak muat lah, tapi lama- lama, I really reallyyyy get annoyed with him. Sampaikan satu tahap rasa dah tak sanggup nak dapat satu station dengan dia. Nak avoid dia. You know what I've done after that? Since that time,I'm avoiding him as much as I can,trying to stay away from him. Dah tak ada nak borak- borak dengan dia like the old days. Kalau aku nampak dia pun, buat- buat macam tak nampak. See ? I'm hurt, I'm annoyed ! Orang- orang yang senasib dengan aku je faham what I feel when people don't stop talking & making an issue about our body.

Gelak- gelak, sengih- sengih bila kena bahan tu tak bermakna I like what they did to me. Itu adalah salah satu cara untuk aku memujuk diri sendiri. Get that ?

Dan, paling penting sekali, aku rasa, aku tak perlu kurus hanya sebab nak tutup mulut orang. Aku hanya akan kurus for my own good, not for people yang hanya tahu ejek mengata aku ikut sedap mulut.

"Aku cakap macam tu sebab nak bagi semangat untuk kau kurus, tak ada niat pun nak buat kau terasa"- Fyi, when you make fun of my size, I never feel motivated by your single words ! Lagi menjatuhkan semangat orang ada. Lagi membuatkan self-esteem aku dropped! You're only make things worse. Seriously dude.

So after this, kalau nak make joke of overweight person, just do it moderately,please don't overrated sampai orang tu makan dalam wei. Nobody's perfect, neither you nor me.

Big size people might be big in size but they do have a sensitive heart as small as dust. I'm not lying on this.

And one more thing, aku sampai tak keluar rumah semata-mata sebab tak nak berjumpa dengan crowd because of this issue. I spend my day,everyday by locking up myself in the room like a zombie. Huhuh.

Mulut orang kita tak akan dapat tutp sampai bila- bila, I know that very well.

*don't blame me if I'm starting to stay away from you, my friends. Never wanted to absorb negative vibe anymore. I'm sorry.